It Shall Be Called "Pulling A Delk"

The black-tie crowd rises in unison and applauds as Tony Delk approaches the podium to announce the winner of the award named in his honor. What award? The first annual Tony Delk Award for Random Statistical Explosions. The award, in honor of Delk’s ridiculously random 53-point performance in January of ’01 in Sacramento as a member of the Suns, is remembered fondly by all NBA fans. OK, maybe just casual fans. You know, I lied - only remembered by hoop junkies. Anyway, Delk currently resides in hoops lore with a career average of 9.1 points per game over a 10-year NBA life that included stops in eight cities – so, to say his 53-point game came out of nowhere would be a vast understatement. And no, this isn’t about Delk, but rather, handing out an award that he inspired.

(Delk sighs…. takes in the noise of the 20,000-plus seated in the auditorium)

(A fan yells from the crowd… “We love you Tony!”)

(Delk smiles and nods in approval, then mimes “Thank-you”)

Delk: “It gives me great pleasure to hand out the inaugural Tony Delk Award for Random Statistical Explosions, because it brings back such great memories of my hot night. Could it be seven years already?

“We were playing my old team (Sacramento), who had just let me go the previous season, in their own barn – Arco Arena – and the time just felt right for me to have a performance that, chances are, I couldn’t have duplicated alone in the practice gym.

“I remembered the words that the great Willie Burton had once passed on to me – ‘If I (Burton) can do it, anyone can…’ – and just went out and tried to make everything. It worked.

“But the reason I’m here isn’t to pump up my own tires, but rather, honor another young gentleman who gave us all something to scratch our head about last night. A performance so startling, that people were yelling out my name in remembrance when they heard of the performance. A performance by a guy you’ve never heard of…

(The crowd gasps)

And so, the winner of the Tony Delk Award for Random Statistical Explosions is… Ramon Sessions!

(Of course, this award doesn’t exist, but it should! And in all seriousness, how on earth did a second-round pick/part-time D-Leaguer playing just his fifteenth – fifteenth – NBA game record 20 points, eight boards and 24 assists in a single game? Not only was it a Bucks franchise record, but Sessions was one assist shy of equaling the rookie record for assists in a game. He was just six short of the NBA record! Talk about making the most of an opportunity; Sessions is averaging a double-double this month while taking the reigns for the Bucks' final few games. Is this random? Is this explainable? Is there any way we can prove Tony Delk is really Ramon Sessions’ father? I don’t know the answer to any of those, but all I know is this: Great game kid.)